Married… to a Filipina

Successfully marrying cross-culturally.

  • I’m happy to review ChristianCafe.com and will try to be as unbiased as possible. That won’t be easy though since I met my lovely wife on this particular website. But I will try.

    Back in 2002, I was searching for online dating websites when I came across ChristianCafe.com. Being a Christian, I wanted to marry another Christian more than anything. I was aware of the other big sites at the time like match.com eharmony.com and others. (If you like, you can read more of my dating websites reviews.) But what I didn’t like about those “secular” sites was that I felt it would be relatively easy for me to “fall in love” with someone who purported to be a Christian but maybe really wasn’t. That was my biggest fear.

    When I checked out ChristianCafe.com I was immediately struck by all the testimonials. There were hundreds and hundreds even back then. Now these are thousands and thousands. They are so powerful. If someone is going to take the time to write a testimonial, you know that they had a good experience and are happy. I read many of them. I noticed that there were many people from all age groups, geographic locations and races.

    That geographic location thing really opened my eyes. You see, you have many options with regard to categories that you want. Age group, geographic location that you’d consider, level of spirituality (my favorite)

    Some times when you search for singles by category (christian, religious views, spiritual views, etc.) you don’t find very many. Not so with ChristianCafe.com if you’re looking for a christian.

    Cost:

    The cost to join ChristianCafe is similar to most other dating sites. Frankly, I was on kind of a mission to possibly find my future wife so while cost is a factor (I’m not rich) it seemed like a super low price to pay to find a great spouse. There is also a 10 day trial period which is more than enough to thoroughly check out the site. You’ll likely meet someone somewhere and you’re not going to want to lose touch with them so you’ll stay awhile longer. I chose the 3 month option thinking that three months should be enough time for me to determine whether this online dating thing can work for me. Plus you save money as you subscribe for longer terms.

    2 Weeks……………………$24.95 ($1.78/daily)
    1 Month…………………….$32.95 ($1.10/daily)
    3 Months…………………..$49.95 (56 cents/daily)
    12 Months…………………$99.95 (27 cents/daily)

    Now most dating websites have positive testimonials. That alone doesn’t guarantee a good experience for you and sure doesn’t guarantee that you’ll find your soul mate and live happily ever after. However, for Christians who don’t base their happiness on their spouse (or finances or their kids or their job, etc.) positive testimonials from other Christians definitely reinforces the idea that God may be using the website as a vehicle to bring two people together.

    I met my wife on ChristianCafe.com way back in 2002. It was a great site back then but it is really awesome now. If I was considering using the power of the internet to help me find a spouse, I wouldn’t hesitate going to ChristianCafe.com to try to make that happen. I sincerely wish you the best in your search for the perfect spouse for you!

    Christian? Single? Meet your Future spouse on ChristianCafe.com

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  • What a big actually kind of small world. Of all the single women in the state I live in, even the country… I get married to someone from the Philippines.

    Amazing.

    Before I got married, if I had to find the Philippines on a map or on a globe, I would need some extra time to say the least. I definitely didn’t know much about the place. Yes, I had known a few other gals (through previous jobs) from Asian countries but the thought of marriage didn’t really enter the equation. Not to mention, marrying an Asian woman who’s already living in the United States is far different that what I went through.

    When I knew I was going to the Philippines for sure to meet my dear future wife, I wanted to tell my mother first. I knew that she always wanted me to find a godly woman to marry and would trust that if I said “this is the one” she would trust me on that. I remember exactly where I was when I told her and though she certainly was surprised, she also seemed genuinely happy and exited for me. I can still see her smiling after I told her.

    This entire blog is about my experiences since I met my “wife to be” in 2002 while she was living in the Philippines.  From meeting her on the internet, to communicating with her, to traveling over there to meet her in person, to communicating with her, to getting engaged, to telling my mother and rest of the my family, to communicating with her, to dealing with immigration departments, to getting married, to having kids, to communicating with her and on and on.

    Did I mention that communication is important? :-)

    As I have observed other men who are married to filipinas, I’ve noticed that these men like me have experienced the same things that I have in my marriage. So, this blog will cover the best parts as well as the more difficult parts of marring a woman from a different culture.

    Marriage is a difficult thing for almost everyone. That doesn’t mean that it’s not worth it because it certainly is. It’s just that when you join two very different people together, there are bound to be some clashes. And I’m talking about two people marrying who have known each other for an extended period of time and have spent substantial time together to learn each others “intricacies”. The divorce rate as well as most peoples personal experience is evidence of the difficulty of having a happy and stable marriage.

    Now imagine getting married to someone from a completely different culture with very different ideas about things. Who’s used to very different housing. Very different foods. Very different communication styles. Very different money systems and on and on. There are dozens of day to day differences that would never occur to typical traditional couples.

    Now believe me. I wouldn’t change a thing about my past experiences because they have taught me so much about my wife and about myself. We have both had to stretch ourselves out of our comfort zone. And we’re much different people then when we got married in 2003. Change is good in this instance. And I thank God that He brought me my wife.  Even with all of our struggles, I believe God has used them to bind us together forever.

    So stay tuned. And feel free to comment on your own experiences Whether you have a spouse from your own country or like me you married a filipina.  It’s great to have a filipino wife but I’m interested in your experiences even if she’s from a country other than the Philippines.

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